Something Something Titanic

It's time to piss 50% of the world off: I don't like Titanic. And now I wait as every female reader on this site (all 3 of them!) just screamed at the monitor and threw their computer across the room in a haze of Leonardo DiCaprio obsessed love. Now that it's become a sausage fest, I'll scare away the guys (all 4 of them!) by saying that the reason I don't like Titanic is because it's melodramatically overwrought with misogynistic patriarchy that demands the repression of the female.

Pictured: The readers of this blog

Now whoever is still here might be thinking about how the movie is actually about female liberation, as it showcases the escape of Rose from her societal chains through finding love in Jack Dawson, also known as the wet dream of the '90s. And it's true that the movie begins very much in a pre-feminist manner, with Rose making a joke about ship size and overcompensation, but that line of thought quickly...sinks. 

Oh God...I can't believe I actually made that joke.

Give me a minute to drink away the pain...

And we're back! Man those 7 consecutive shots of Smirnoff really take the edge off!So yeah, feminism and shit. Rose is an independent woman, or as independent as she can be, right up until her attempt at suicide, which she fails at because Jack comes for her and the chauvinism begins. Rose becomes wholly dependent on Jack. This girl that told off a table full of rich snobs now can't do a single thing without running it past Jack. Girl could've used some booze if you ask me, which I'm assuming you are. A nice drink to calm down the whole situation.

Like this, but 15 more

U know who else needed sum alcohol?? I thinked that if the capitan had some then he wouldn't have been such a bitch. "HOODOHOO I HAVE A BEARD AND THAT'S A FUCKNIG ICEBERG!" Big fucking deal man. I dealt with an iceburg last night namedd YOUR MOTHER! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And I mean realy couldn't Rose have jsut  fucking moved over on the door thing cause i spent like a solid 5 minutes staring at her in the naked scene and she wasnn't that fat. I mean itd be cool if she lose pounds, but not thaaaaaaaaaaat many. 17 punds maxinum. I mean I'd do her but i wouldnt telegram her in the morning if you knw what I mean ;)

just 1 or two more real quik

what if the whole fuking movie is just like a metpahor for some shit or something lik its about fucking politics or somehting leik the whole thing is about ho Reagan destroyed th cuntry haha cuntry. that;s it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the movie is all abut Reagan being the devil & ruining evrything.

Rose is Reagan an d like kils Jack befcasue she canp='t fucjing movei ovear on tha doior and the shuip is america and the iceburg is teh economie an d jack is ameirca.

rose Killed ameirca