Dr. Suess' Monomyth

Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter. Thundercats. What do all these stories have in common, besides a startling lack of minorities in them? Why, they all follow Joseph Campbell's monomyth of course! And to add to this storied list of...stories...that follow Joseph Campbell's explanation of what creates an epic hero on his quest is (drumroll please!) DR.SUESS' I HAD TROUBLE IN GETTING TO SOLLA SOLLEW!!! Time to celebrate the new addition!

I blame the Quilligan Quail for how out of hand this got.

I didn't want this big a mess, not at all! I did not!

To those unfamiliar with the tome of research and knowledge contained in the seminal work of Joseph Campbell's Hero With a Thousand Faces, I mean assuming you didn't get it read to you as a bedtime story, the monomyth is a process by which a protagonist goes through, essentially, a checklist to see if he will qualify to be "epic." Now this checklist isn't like the one the police went through that one time when you squatted and coughed, nor is the term epic used to refer to the incident immediately before the squat and cough wherein you tried to jump over a moving car. Campbell's epic hero is a timeless protagonist that will be visibly related to by those who read/watch him, excluding hipsters.

Oh, it exists? Too mainstream.

Let's start with the beginning point in the journey of our protagonist, henceforth known in this article as Jimothy. Merrily walking along, he encounters just a shitload of problems, including tripping and having a bug bite him. Obviously this kid's life is some cruel joke by God. For the love of all that is holy, two difficulties? In one day?!? Well thank the good Lord Jesus that a chap rolls up on his "One-Wheeler Wubble" that is, despite the name, not a sex toy to invite him to the mystical city of Solla Sollew where few problems are had. Because two problems are a lot I guess?

Anyway, the pair then crosses the threshold (another step) when they leave the boundaries of Jimothy as they go trailing and their camel gets sick. Then the Wubble chap gets all high and mighty and douchey, making Jomothy pull them all the way to the camel physician and I just realized how the Wubble chap might just be a rapist. Kids at home, don't go on anyone's One-Wheeler Wubble. It only ends in dark closets and bad touch.

Having finally ditched the rapist, after what can only be assumed is months of captivity locked in Buffalo Bill Wobbler's hideout, Jimothy hits the road of trials. His trial is to stay in a old house in the middle of the rainstorm. He awakens to find his home swept away by the rain, which was just poor architectural planning on the part of those builders.

"Oh yeah, totally safe. Only 7 previous owners died here!"

Jimothy is saved by what turns out to be a General Genghis Kahn Schmitz that wants him to fight in his army to slay a Poozer, which quickly turns into a battle to defeat an army of Poozers with a pea shooter. Suess' metaphor for the sexual conquering of women by the historical Genghis Kahn with his "pea shooter" notwithstanding, Jimothy escapes through Campbell's apotheosis in the form of a pipe in the ground that represents his journey in the underworld, taking him to Solla Sollew.

Having seemingly reached his destination and achieved Campbell's ultimate boon, Jimothy is horrified to discover that the city of legend has a single, solitary problem. This will not stand for the honorable Jimothy, demander of no problems ever. But then, an epiphany! When invited to a city with absolutely no problems ever, Jimothy doesn't go. Instead, he heads home. 

Yes, Jimothy goes through the magic flight home and becomes the master of two worlds, both part of the monomyth. Jimothy knows now that his quest was truly to find that he has the power to conquer all his problems. Jimothy reaches the stage wherein he has freedom to live and share knowledge, which he does by...swinging a bat at animals that have harmed him in the past. So Suess' moral is to beat animals I guess? And that will make you an epic hero? Well damn, we better start respecting Michael Vick more.

It's that or a lesson about minorities. And yes, Snarf is a minority.