Distant stars...distant hearts.
The cosmos wasn't kind, even to the likes of great warriors such as Sonic Gokuverine (and considering he had recently ascended to Super Saiya-jin 25, this suggests unreachable standards for any being to live up to). For fifty years he traveled the universe at the speed of super light and though he'd covered an astounding amount of ground, impressive considering there's no ground in space, he was no closer to making his way home.
He decided to land on a nearby planetoid, which in four astro-eons would be known as the Prison Planet Gorlock 15, and left himself to his deepest thoughts. His brain sifted through everything he'd only been lightly skimming during his latest flight sprint: his hopes, his dreams, his memories and philosophies, and the lyrics to Demi Lovato's "Give Your Heart a Break." None of them told him what he truly wanted. None of them told him where his family was.
"Look dad!" cried out Sonic Gokuverine Jr. as she sexually assaulted the nearby mountain range. "I'm a Super Saiyan!"
Sonic Gokuverine sniffled, smiling. "That's my girl...that's my son."
Would he ever see her again? Every moment was another microlightyear without his precious little boy. His retrospection would not last forever, though.
"Sonic Gokuverine. We meet again at last."
Sonic Gokuverine grimaced and turned, all of the hatred he'd ever felt in his life swelling back into his disgruntled breast. He knew that voice. He knew it hard.
"Shadow Vegetabatman."
"You know, Sonic Gokuverine," began Shadow Vegetabatman, "I thought you really had me going when you ascended to Super Saiyan 25 and shot me halfway across the omniverse. But you forgot one thing."
"What's that?"
Shadow Vegetabatman pulled a small object from his utility belt, squeezing it until he made a clicking noise. He made several clicking noises, as if attempting to build the anticipation for his object's activation. Finally, the object made a techno beat that put Shadow Vegetabatman's clicking motif into question. But only briefly.
"This is my Midichloric Thetonizer. It's a bomb that triggers an explosion at the very core of your soul." Shadow Vegetabatman had a power level of twenty infinity billions, so he was worth listening to and the truth, to him, was like a bucket full of correct words. "It will kill you. And grill you."
Sonic Gokuverine despised being grilled, so he flew at the speed of seven quintillion battle miles to stop Shadow Vegetabatman from activating the soul bomb. But he was too slow and the bomb blowed up real good, firing right into Sonic Gokuverine's very soul. He saw his life, his liberty, and his pursuit of happiness flash before his very eyes before finally seeing his own death taking place billions of years after this.
But wait...
"Am I still alive?" asked Sonic Gokuverine in the no-space within his soul.
"You are, dad." said his so...daughter? "You are. And you always will be. Just come back home."
"I will, child. I will."
Sonic Gokuverine awoke, punching Shadow Vegetabatman in his super nards. With another punch, another kick, another kick, another punch, some more kicks, and like...wow, shit, really? You're really going there? Aw. What. Eugh. Really? Ooooh crap.
Wow. So okay, Shadow Vegetabatman somehow got up from whatever the fuck that was and shit got so real a little bit after that. The planetoid was destroyed and the two drifted throughout outer space krunking each other in their respective faces.
It would be four million years before Sonic Gokuverine saw the sun again, but only two thousand before he used a flashlight.
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