Good Vibe-rations

We live in a world consumed by evils. Murder, assault, and Nickelback fans surround us and constantly endanger our livelihood and safety. How can we survive in a world that so deftly conspires against our success? Short answer: we can't. We're positively screwed and there is no internalized power to save us. However, there is one hope. A shimmering gleam that shines through the darkest of times. A light that has an ascot that is objectively better than anything you've done your entire life. A light named...Vibe.

Not only did those dance moves just cure my cancer, but they hold a deeper message about a different world, as I'm sure you're aware we'll examine because that's what this internet destination is all about. So the video opens and the thought is that it will be a normal day in Motor City, which apparently consists of break dancing competitions because Motor City is stuck in 1983 and the mayor is Grandmaster Flash, who was probably elected on a platform of keeping it freakity fresh, yo. However, just when you think Vibe is going to absolutely steal the show and walk away with the 1st place clock necklace he was promised...shit goes down!

Are you in suspense or turned on?
(Does it matter?)

Just as Vibe thinks he's won, a new challenger appears, and this android guy has collars higher than a 1950s Cadillac, so you know he's evil. Like, just so evil. Evil enough to take that note your mom left you in your lunchbox for himself and never even tell you that your mom packed an extra serving of love for you. Can you say "douchebag"? Did you just say it? I don't know if you did considering you're on the other side of the internet, but I hope you did anyway.

The appearance of Dr. Ivo and his android dickhead Extreme-O just kill the (will he say it? Yes he will) VIBE of the whole event. But just think about the general feeling of the event that we've been shown. The city is idealistically pastel colored. Break dancing competitions are still a possiblility. Boomboxes are the main method of music transmittance. It's a living, breathing Hellscape.

Essentially, the world has been visibly stuck in some alternate timeline. What spurred this change? Well if I had to guess, I'd venture and say it was Obama's fault. By which I mean with absolute certainty that this video is calling Obama the devil that will bring about the end of days. So yes, it's very similar to The Bible on the History Channel in that regard. Obama is raising taxes to such an Extreme-O level that eventually, all forms of currency will be depleted and we will be forced to in fact give technological penance.

Better than a technological...nevermind

So then Obama has forced of the devolution of technology, which in turn forced the devolution of music because these modern day artists with their Brooklyn Shakes and Gang Damn Styles don't understand that music can live on cassette tapes. With the disappearance of the internet, we're thrown back in a pop culture time machine to the 1980s and the world adjusts accordingly. Still not convinced that Obama is to blame? Well shut up and I'll prove you wrong!

The city is idealistically colored because in Obama's future happy fun time COMMUNIST land there must be some way to try and appease the people. But then Vibe appears as a hero for the people. You can tell because people cheer his name and mob mentality never makes groups of people cheer for terrible things (except for Philadelphia Eagle fans). Thus, Abbadobama himself must come down and try to crush the happiness and hopes of Motor City.

When the spiritual Voldemort comes down, notice how he tries to stand high above everyone else! A false pulpit for a preacher of lies! It's all lies, people! Listen to me because I'm right and Obama is Satan! Will Vibe win? That's a good question. You see, Vibe is the glimmer of hope in a dark world. He's America. And right now, we don't know if America will win out against Obama, especially if he gets elected to a 5th term.

Quick! To the Jesus-mobile!